So I am sitting here, in downtown, late at night with no way home. What better way to kill time then to write a blog (and see if I can make sense while intoxicated). Today I was invited out and it was a ladies night out. Being a male, a few warning lights should have gone off, I should have known better. After getting liquored up, we went out to get more liquor. After having some really manly drinks (Apple-tini’s) our conversation took a focus on human sexuality. Being a curious guy and scholar, I had to dive right in. I must admit, human sexuality is one of my passions (amongst other things) and I just had to see how far the conversation could have gone. This brings us to today’s blog posting! (sorry, we’re skipping the psychology dissertation for yet another day)
The girls had fun explaining their view and I’m here to summarize. What started with “The woman’s view on penis sizes and how men use it” turned into a conversation about men they want. This conversation could have turned for the worse (with me crying to my mother), but it was civil. Apparently, I was not the only one with some sex education; one of the ladies studied human anatomy and psychology for 4 years! Seems like our discussion focused on what differentiates men from boys. Men, they take care of their women, making sure to please them, foreplay, and a lot of attention. Boys, on the other hand, get on and get off. One observation noted was that getting the girl and keeping the girl are very separate scenarios. For example, pricks that women do not want in the long run seem get women interested and nice guys try way too hard. Generally, there is an obvious comparison between boys and pricks, and nice guys and men. However, for men to keep getting laid, they have learned to adapt. Be a great guy, pick up and dump. It is almost the perfect scam, only the SEC will not get involved. Genuine nice guys, on the other hand, almost never land the right girl. They seem to get pulled into the trap of a praying mantis, get their head held onto and ripped off when they least expect it. The girls agreed: while they would love to find a great guy, there is no way to know how they are until it is generally too late. Moving along to keeping a guy (from the women’s perspective, again), seemed to bring very interesting comments. Apparently, contrary to physical physiology, women are great runners! I was told numerous times tonight (and remember reading countless psych papers) that generally, when a women falls for the right guy, she feels so terrified, so much at the thought of losing him, that she’ll sabotage the relationship and try to get out of being hurt. The male is stuck in his very own catch-22 situation: back off, and the girl may want him, get closer, and the girl will surely push him away. There is only so much he can do to without going crazy himself.
Of course, by the time the nice guy does get over his feelings for the woman he lost, she’ll either want him back or he’ll have found his own praying mantis. The cycle continues.